I can usually find a redeeming quality or two in just about anything – including games that are a waste of the developer’s time and money – but every so often something mind-bogglingly awful slips in and blows me away. I had one such experience today with The Expendables 2.
Granted, I went in with low expectations. This is a game based on what I consider to be a mindless and mediocre action movie franchise. Because of that, I expected no more than a mindless and mediocre action game. However, what I found was not just mediocre, but also something that belongs in 2002, not 2012.
Sadly, being released a decade earlier wouldn’t have saved this game.
I had a sinking feeling immediately after starting it up. The loading screen made sure to clarify that this was a video game by including “Videogame” in its title. “Oh boy…here we go,” I thought, wincing just a little as a familiar crew of rugged mercernaries graced my screen.
Yes, this is seriously what you’ll be seeing when you play. How much can you make out in this image?
The Expendables 2 is essentially a 3D arcade game whose graphics brings to mind 1998′s Commandos: Behind Enemy Lines and the more recent Renegade Ops. However, where Renegade Ops was bright and colorful, The Expendables 2 is visually drab and repetitive. And where Commandos: BEL was an innovative and fun title, this is the opposite. The landscapes and pixelated trees reminded me of the archaic Operation: Flashpoint (circa 2001). Character models brought to mind the PS2’s Metal Gear Solid 2, but unlike that title they generally remained redundant and generic.
Everything takes place from a fixed isometric perspective as you run around with your squad of four, blasting bad guys and blowing stuff up. This could be fun, but the action ended up being mind-numbingly dull. To compound the simple run-and-gun gameplay, aiming is next to impossible. There was no visible sight for any of the default weapons unless using the sniper character and tracers were hard to see. The camera was always too far away from the scene and the controls were too touchy. It was very difficult to know where I was shooting. Most of the time I couldn’t tell if I was hitting anything at all, so I spent the entire demo emptying clips wildly, hoping to hit my targets.
Speaking of emptying clips wildly, friends and foes alike brush off bullets like they’re paintballs striking kevlar. Even the most mundane enemies take a ridiculous amount of bullets to take down. I know this is an arcade-style game, but come on. Between the lack of damage incurred and the terrible aim, I resigned myself to running in circles while spraying constantly, a mindless alternative to quality combat mechanics.
“Cluttered” is the…nicest way to describe the visual style of The Expendables 2.
Since the game requires that I have a squad of four, the AI took the reins for my squadmates. Perhaps I misspoke when I said AI, because that implies that the actions of my squadmates were somewhat intelligent. They always stayed clustered up around me, firing blindly into the groups of enemies presented. They never took cover and never strayed far from my position. Compounding my frustration even further, my otherwise-worthless squadmates were able to aim and fire somewhat accurately. Opposing combatants didn’t fare any better, running around aimlessly and with reckless abandon. This must be what a 10-year-old imagines war looks like.
Technical problems were abundant as well. Invisible barriers impeded movement through apparently open terrain. Objects slid across the ground like an oiled sled on a snow-covered hill. Sometimes cars would explode when shot, sometimes they wouldn’t. Fallen bodies disappeared immediately and abruptly.
Developer ZootFly doesn’t have an impressive track record to speak of, but they really dropped the ball on this one. I wouldn’t recommend it to even the most casual gamer. The Expendables 2′s flaws are so glaring that I could’ve written this after ten minutes with the demo.
Fun fact: that’s exactly what I did.
Platform reviewed: PS3
Impression: The Expendables 2 tries to be an homage to arcade shoot-em-ups of days past, but it’s an atrocity in terms of gameplay and technical merit. Don’t waste your money on this.
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